I went through a Law of Attraction bootcamp recently. Excellent way to re-attune yourself to the workings of your conscious and unconscious mind, especially with how they mingle with the world around us. Or, with a more jaded audience, instigate more hopeful nonsense that we actually make ourselves, and our lives, better, despite ourselves. Whichever one you might be, on any given day, I enjoyed my thirty days with these lessons.
One of these lessons talks about how negativity can take us way back, even after weeks of positive forward accomplishments. Two steps forward, four steps backwards, maybe twelve. This point rang through me since it tends to be one of my greatest achievements: mastery of self-depreciating annihilation. The difference between knowing and doing is clearly determined by browsing through my personal, and professional, history. Great bounds of confident positivity thwarted by chronic introverted cynicism…
This morning was difficult for me. In the way that toddlers don’t get what they want, I was annoyed, compounding previous annoyances, made more frustrating by the obvious fact that only myself could really be blamed for any of the above. My introverted cynicism had convinced me that my path of minimalism was decided upon based on logical reasoning. Really, I think it was my keen desire to simply be able to stay home and not talk to anyone.
Anyway… the law of attraction and my bad attitude. Two steps forward, four steps back. It was these steps back that got me thinking. Making forward progress, to find it so easily slip away in a fit of – is there a different way to say bad attitude? – is frustrating in retrospect. Talk about a slew of what if’s to keep you up at night.
But, what if these backward slips – read avalanches – are like a re-boot? At this point, I figure I’ve slipped so far backwards as to be like an eighth grader, only with much more wasted time, and money owed. Okay, negative pseudo-humor aside, what does an eighth grader have that could be valuable to me? Well, their entire lives are ahead of them for starters, interpreted as the ability to figure out the rest of their lives. Maybe that’s what I can do. Maybe the reason I’m having so many avalanches (slips) is that I don’t really like any of the things I’m doing. I like the idea of the things I’m attempting, but maybe the reality just isn’t what I need.
I feel fortunate that I’m in the position to be able to figure this out – thank you minimalism. Things that I used to love, that I forgot to pay attention to, are being re-examined. I’m actually leaning towards biochemistry…
- What actions have you taken to re-fit your life to your self?